There is no turning back…

THB said she had sex. I never knew THB could be so easy. I have hoped she could have been different. It was at best casual sex, no feelings involved…

If THB is going to get married again… if this is not the guy, then it’s not very fair to the next husband if she just fucks around. However, it’s not my problem. I am not the next husband of THB.

I am not sure if Kate were to be divorced whether we’d go for a date. But it’s definitely not going to be similar to how that guy fucked THB. Ever since I saw Kate again, my body is no longer the same. I have tried everything to tune things back in vain. It might be cancer…


Have tried everything to get rid of Kate from my mind and I am at my wits’ ends. She just keeps slipping into my dreams, haunting me day and night.

“Good things come to those who waited.” I read this at THB’s and I yielded a sad smile… THB is young, the talk is easy. If the fortune teller is right  that Kate is the destined woman… While I have seen enough happy marriages broken in real life, I can’t pray for the same for Kate’s. The reason is simple enough… she is not young anymore.

Still don’t get it…?

Yes yes yes. Finally we can be together, but we will have no children. I love children, and she’d be too old. If she were to be divorced at a later stage, if she feels my love, she’d have to stay away from me if she loves me. That’s the reality.

Well… I hope to avoid the struggle to embrace her and go childless. Besides… I mind her marriage. I did not choose to love her, I can’t stop my feelings for her, common sense tells me to stay physically away. If this is a wait, nothing good will come from it.

THB is still young, she is lucky her divorce comes early, if she reads this I hope she’d be enlightened somehow. Don’t waste your time fucking around… go and search for your One before it’s too late. It’s good to be young, but you will grow old, and there will be sweet young things flying around, challenges in marriage and your sex life. Once love fades, the dick takes over.

But if ever one day… she is old and alone, when she can no longer attract men’s attention or when her family all die in a crush or she is sick and cannot move… assuming lah, I will then appear before her. It’s not really a promise, but love in itself is a vow. If that sort of day ever happens, love will lead me to her. Of course this is a remote possibility. LOL~ But if that day were to be, even if I were to be in Germany I’d fly back. It’s not something that Kate would probably understand for now. As long as I am alive, she will not be alone; there will be someone there for her.

When THB is old… down and out, maybe when she can’t even move, who will be there for her? That will be the One who appears, THB.  Don’t waste your youth, THB.

For now…

Please don’t let me see her again. Please don’t let her come into my dreams again. Please just let me forget her.
Singapore Bridal Forum is getting boring… I like to tease and provoke those jokers. But over time, it’s losing the fun. Now they are fighting among themselves in a ban-me thread. LOL~

Jee Say had talked about serious individuals coming together for political aspiration. Wilfred and gang have left SPP… I am hoping they won’t be joining other parties but setting up their own shop thereby encouraging more people to set up new parties and the game will be set. The good thing about Jee Say is he is proactive. But I fear he is as snobbish as the PAP leadership, and why doesn’t he start a new party. More parties set up will be advantageous for me… it’d be open options. Currently, WP is dominating… having one party to monopolize political human resource management is not good.

Serious-minded… Yeah, I am serious enough. As the younger voters happen, PAP is likely to go down the drain with its track records of abuses and bad policies, or what they called bitter pills. Under the current situation whereby simpletons and devils rule… we need something more drastic. Khaw has successfully disrupted the market mechanism without getting the fundamentals right at MND, with the inflated situation… I don’t think Khaw understands economics. His failure is expected. Lui is wasting both time and money; I doubt he understands the political perspective of dealing with transport. During Yam Ah Mee’s time at LTA, Saw‘s destructive moves at SMRT went free and PTC just approved almost every ticket increment tabled.

Bloody hell.

Now Yam Ah Mee is the head of PA… and gained fame because of him behaving like a jerk or clown while reciting election lines. OMG~

Sadly, the used-to-be fighter who had been invited by ISD for copi Mr Tharman has thought of people with $1000 a month income can afford a flat… while the $8 minister is making news for saying the flat sizes have remained constant over the years… Very misleading. Mr Tharman has really changed.

Whether Jee Say is right about the PAP leaders or otherwise, the most important thing is PMO is not going to perform. That’s the whole point. That’s the whole point when they want super high salary scales in relative to their world counterparts.

PAP must fall on its own accord, and it is falling.

The next General Election may be still some time away, but the Workers Party (WP) has already begun to ‘book’ the constituencies it intends to contest, including those previously contested by other parties.

In an interview with Lianhe Zaobao, WP Chairman and Aljunied GRC MP Sylvia Lim revealed WP’s plans to contest in Tampines GRC in the next election.

Besides Tampines GRC, WP will also contest in the GRCs it contested previously.

“These GRCs are located in eastern and north-eastern parts of Singapore and will enable the party to better utilize its limited resources.”

Tampines GRC was contested by the National Solidarity Party (NSP) in 2011 where it garnered 42 percent of the votes.

When contacted by the media NSP Chairman Sebastian Teo reiterated that NSP will not give up any constituencies which it had contested.

He also revealed that NSP has yet to decide if it would contest in the coming Hougang by-election.

With its capture of Aljunied GRC, the Workers Party is now undoubtedly the strongest ‘opposition’ party in Singapore though it hardly ‘opposes’ the ruling party. However, the increasing arrogance displayed by some of its leaders and its reluctance to work with other parties have peeved off some opposition supporters.

When asked by the media about the Workers Party’s views on the Budget which have been expressed earlier by other parties, Sylvia Lim retorted callously:

“But we are in Parliament, they are not. We will make use of the platform we have.”

I picked up this article from EDMW… Nice. This is what I want. I wonder if Jee Say sees what I see. LOL~

As for my job search… Sigh~

Now only waiter and security guard jobs remain. I did not return to Singapore to be a waiter or security guard! Fuck Singapore! Fuck this land of fuck opportunities! Fuck those liars!

On the other hand… I am polishing my Japanese and going to learn German next.

Kate aside… I am actually very much attracted by those beautiful western creatures… Wow! Eurasian offsprings will be sooooooo desireable.

Talk about babes… I am recently in love with Kitagawa Keiko; she’s gorgeous and adorable at the same time. Oh mine, why ain’t the babes Singaporeans? Recently the Stars Awards was rewarding junks for producing junks again. MDA made news by having a grant for movie makers… and I wonder if there is any for me to start shooting. I doubt so. Maybe I should write in and explore but… usually there will be no news. MDA… It’s really sick to see the domestic scene being dominated by fucker Jack Neo and a useless Mediacorps; both can’t go big. Heard that auntie Zoe Tay is finally kicked out; she should have been kicked out since so long ago! And… this Joanne Peh chap takes over. But she is nothing compared to Mayumi Sada. This is the standard for local male and female stars. Hilariously… given such a small market, Mediacorps is running amok with foreigners!

Huang Bi Ren has become so ugly…!?

That’s about it for Singapore… a place now full of substandard rubbish fully paid with good gold.

Something wrong with my health… I can feel it; but I don’t know what is going on. Ever since I got shocked by Kate’s marriage, things become very bad. Something is very very wrong. Nevertheless, for those infected with HIV, this is good news. They are using stem cells to develop artificial immune cells which can eventually wipe out HIV. Amazing. Man-made mutation of the body to fight the ever mutating fucker… I have been interested in such development ever since the STDs scare. Hopefully in about 10 years… we can all fuck in peace.

I feel very weak. Am I dying…?

I don’t want to die in Singapore…

I don’t want to be burnt to ashes…

I am getting disinterested in politics, yet at the same time… there seems to be a calling. What we need is not an opposition, what we really need is a reform for modern Singapore. I am really sick of seeing jokers fooling around for money and fame in politics… but I really have low morale. Besides… we’d need a couple of comrades who have the same thinking, talent and spirit to fight to make it work. I have seen the ills of Meritocracy, I wish to dismantle this fucking system… and then, a talent based structure will replace it.

Look at Singapore now… Everything that doesn’t work is paid gold, talents have few avenues. Resources are controlled by the scumbags. Such a tiny state… so fucking messed up!

Lee Kuan Yew is dying. He doesn’t care anymore. Maybe if Seng Han Tong had died from the assault things might change…?

Alot of dreams will never be materialized because of this fucking snobbish junk called Meritocracy… whereby pervert Chua Ren Cheng can climb merely because of his paper qualifications. Something must be done to stop all these rubbish. Can the opposition elements really do anything?

Give me some good hands… before I leave for Germany, maybe we can have a good fight. But then… what are we really fighting for?

Leaders… Leaders of a time is often the result of fate. Even I myself can’t say I can decide anything. I am afterall… only part of a bigger game.

Nobody knows the future… Even if the fortune teller told me about the futures… nothing could be changed. It’d just happen in the most intriguing unstoppable manner. While I try to make sense of everything… it’d just happen. Politics aside… I am more concern about how and when I’d meet Kate again. After all these years… … after going through so much… I finally realise she is the most important thing in my life. IQ 194… yet I was so stupid. There she was there all the time, there in my wallet was her phone number…

I deserve this eternal punishment… So what I eventually relocate to Germany… I’d never forget her.

Hmmm… What will happen… What the fuck will happen?