December… I usually like this time of the year when it is cool. But I still never got to see the snow. Sometimes I really hope I exist in a big country and I can just travel from one province to another, and I can meet a lot more different people than the usual craps in Singapore.

Recently, I don’t feel like sleeping. Yet I slept alot in the day. It’s not insomia, it’s just I don’t seem to appreciate sleeping. I am still breathing and alive. It’s like passing one day at a time towards death.

Yet… I am an immortal.

I don’t eat alot during dinner. I know I want the buffet at Marketplace Sogo, but I am tired of leaving home for it. I suddenly lose interest in many things. I have nothing to buy, I don’t know what to buy so I bought lottery tickets. I am becoming very strange. I still have the desire to feed… but that’s all.

I only know… It’s December and it’s cold. I like the cold.

That’s all.

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It’s been some time since I blogged. Billabong was having a sales, it was a good one because its T-shirts have quality, but I don’t especially like the designs. So I bought two T-shirts with better designs and one shorts. Somehow, my new number for about half a year sent me messages for marathons; I never participated in marathons, and am not likely to do so. Firstly, marathons are bad for health; it burns cells too fast. We have covered this cellular issue before. Most importantly, I don’t want to bump into Kate or her relatives in this sort of events. It’s doubly stupid to pay money to die faster… …

I didn’t take a peep at Kate. Maybe I should. But why should I?

I didn’t source for her pics. Not anymore. Her aging is freaking me out. I am not intending to freak out myself further with those updates.

I’d feel very sad… because when we first met, we were both so young. I am too used of she being the blushing lass… who couldn’t even speak to me properly.

EDMW again. There had been a slight surge of hits from that freaky forum of jerks.

It’s not so entertaining anymore. A bunch of losers… …

It’s raining. I feel like going out today. But where can I go? There is nothing happening in Singapore unless… and I am not interested in those junk bars, discos, and bla bla bla… Guess I missed out on life fucking those girls at the bars and discos… but I don’t like cheap girls. And STDs are freaking me out easily. So…

I dream of the day when I can leave this horrible boring stupid island of horrible boring stupid jerks.

That’s aspiring.

We have seen the lawyer, so Dad is leaving me with $1.5m of assets. I can’t grumble not because I am not greedy… but because I am not a big spender. This amount is like going to last me like forever. Dad is getting very old. I have no intention to curse him; parents are very important. They are the only people who don’t really intend to harm. And no matter what, I am not evil. So be it. $1.5m then… It’s not really much in this new world. Money to me has only that much meaning.

For now… … I wait.

Maybe I should drive to East Coast and take a break. I like the seas, I like the wind, I like the cold of December, so I like the cold wind when I am standing in its way. There is no typhoon in Singapore… what a waste.

Should I buy Fallout New Vegas? I was tempted to. But I didn’t. Because the graphics is bad, the gameplay is bad… Bethesda has to do something in Fallout 4 if they assume fans will go on chasing the series. Else, Fallout will expire, and Wasteland II should enter the picture. Yes. I am a gamer.

Mom just came in… and urged me to feed.  The satay at Clementi has changed… no longer that type of tasty sticks I had when I was… that small. I had a craving the other day so I went down, bought 15 sticks and… disappointed myself. Feeding is an important daily issue for me because… that’s where the last bit of joy is. And I am losing it.

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