[After so many days, I woke up this morning, took a shot. Scope is fine. Don’t miss his cheeky but shy tongue in this one… LOL~ Don’t matter how much I love a girl woman, life must go on. My search must go on. I am not a girl, I don’t care about fucking ‘stages’. I only want nobody but ‘you’. So hence I’d take forever to dig her out if it needs forever.]

因为我喜欢玫瑰,所以我让它们留下。–《败犬女王》

There is a network of troublemakers appearing in the forum. Sadly there is no balance in it. However, Singaporean forums are usually crap-based. And they could be the same sort of nosense as in Ping.sg and other online sites; and they will go to any lows to make personal attacks. Impossible to reason with those who thought they made enough friends to dominate the entire site. Disturbances have never been anything new, so…

I was browsing through college photos… That was she so many years ago. Perhaps she has grown into another local woman resembling to what has been encountered in that forum… Craps. I cannot shake this idea off now knowing the man she has married; the implication of her belonging to that type of local women is… just too much to handle. Luckily, the spell has been broken; but I still miss her very much… I mean, I still cannot forget the college girl. I have beautified her in college perhaps way too overboard.

Handling those imps in the forum is nothing. I mean when you have enough experience with internet nosense, it’d be just a habitual and emotionless game.

Carefully, I closed the album and hid it. I used to carry Kate’s photo with me when I went overseas, in case home was on fire and there would still be one left. I did not go East to peep… Not Scope’s style; I am an outlandish chap, there must be some honor in relationship matters, and… she really went all the way to humiliate me. She will never say “I love you, Scope…” even if I were to wait for her for another half a century even if she were to be free again; She may have gone too deep in becoming a local type woman…

That forum shows why Scope doesn’t go for Singaporean type women… They don’t think, they love to be defensive on nosense… and they don’t understand love. So far online, only Applemag suggested that they might have some… childhood trauma for such… phenomenon. Applemag is not a Singaporean girl.

In Chinese: 不可理喻. Why do I need such gabbages for, other than for sexual pleasures?

I am getting curious… on Kate. I suddenly want a full scan of her psychological readings… I want to know that she has already caught the disease… and has been indeed unworthy for the overdue feeling for her. I’d need two things… her twitter and/or her blog. Of course, I have run a scan on her sis… Her sis registers a basic Singaporean type woman; but her personality and Kate’s… seems to be at an odd. Strange reading. But their rooted mentalities overlap, hence their expressions turn out similar.

A forumer insulted that ‘only cheap women will want me’… Frankly speaking, only a cheap woman will say something like that. The reason why I value foreign women more than local women, making them cheaper in the process, is really because their… personalities suck in general. Even when they got their lessons in relationship, they cannot be changed; they will fight to new lows to claim they are right. So God is wrong… local women are right. I laughed, but I do not like my women to be defamed that way.

I’d like to know what kind of big mouth she really is.

Still, she’s nobody to me.

♦♦♦   ♦♦♦

I come to know very well with a people like craps, I’d have no choice but to take over the business and expand it, then I’d let brother take over and I’d leave Singapore to pursue my dreams. I need a really good supportive woman by my side, to start a really solid family and a marvelous career. I need to get away from these losers… who’d later contribute to Singapore’s economic demise… Look, Singapore can’t compete, and it’s now providing limited resources to accomodate to the economic  steroids based on foreign influx. And worse, it won’t change.

I am indeed feeling lost recently. It cannot be helped.

There is no hope to seek anymore with Kate married to such… whatever. The point is, with a humiliation that serious, even if she could feel my love… even if we’d to meet again, my soul will repel her. And I am really lost. And I need to seek overseas for another before I take over from Dad. Yes. I am turned on by gorgeous classic beauty, but that’s only because she’d imply good taste and wits. I do not need beautiful face in a wonderful long gown who is like so petty and childish and ridiculous… and who cannot even make sense~ Why am I so pissed with Kate’s choice? Bad taste. Simple.

She’s trying to go all the way to insult Scope.

I don’t understand, and now I don’t want to need to understand why she hates me so much.

Fuck~

[It’s especially lonely when you have to come to face the reality alone. I never hated any of the women, not even Cat. It’s just fate lah~ Of course, I hope women I have come across will not hate me… OMG~ Every girl will hit ducks, and more ducks, before she finds her prince. What? You think every girl is a Queen? I don’t care about mortal concerns, I only care about what I truly want. Cheese~]

Indeed I am quite lonely, since I returned to tend to Cat. And now almost everyday, Cat pisses me off. She really forgets why I am here that she even got the fucking chance to insult me… and why I am going to show her the door soon. I can’t have her wrecking my life while I am trying to stay afloat in the first year of business. This is a major taboo~ I may temporarily buy a Vietnamese beauty to take care of my life… I am wary of any sudden changes to plan.

I went to the beach alone, I watched movies alone, I went to restaurants alone, I slept alone, I celebrated my birthday alone, I laughed at comedies online alone… For a moment, I tried to womanise. But I failed. I am just not that sort of man. Perhaps I didn’t try hard enough… Sometimes I thought of driving down to take a peep at her. But I know psychology, I know I will only feel more lonely if I were to see her again. And I may be cursed once again… What I need now is to recover asap, and be able to flirt again…

Am I lonely? Yes.

Will I find anybody… No. Not anyone. Remember, I am Scope… I have a standard to maintain. I’m drawn to gorgeous women who’d look great in gowns, mature and… speak with desireable intelligence. In the year of the Tiger, by right I am fated to be meeting somebody… I am now in no mood to meet anybody. But I know I need to move out… and meet somebody. But this is not Europe, this is not the city of romance… This is a city of junks… … where women are like having a collective childhood trauma for their nosense in relationship.

Fuck.

I need a miracle.

No more junk, please.

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