[Scope may not like what he’d dig out… But when he is set on something, he usually magically gets it. He is an archangel beyond the mortal decay.]

If you’d love someone beyond death, married is not a valid end.

This is one rare  occassion when the CGP is ready before the rant begins. Choong whom I always regard as a good mentor told me to move on… I am going to piss him off because I really can’t. She has always been special, and now I know how important she is I can’t cheat myself, run away and assume that there is such a button of ‘forget her‘. Besides… it is not like so simple between she and myself… If I shalt owe her anything in some previous life with my defiance, I shalt redeem myself this life also with my defiance.

She has chosen a new avatar for her facebook…

But she has become a Mrs. The professional shot chosen is of a girl smiling like sunshine, not a married woman of her profession. If her man doesn’t appreciate her, she’d be stuck in a web of social norms… forever as she ages. Even if we shall see each other again,  we can only do so secretly. And her feeling for Scope must be as strong as mine for her to break free… But mine is a 15 years love and affection, even if she might have felt it… have she thought of Scope that much as I have thought of her? I don’t know what destiny beholds for us, but just as L said… the ball is now in her court.

I shalt still love her even if she were to be dead, so what she’s married. Besides, the women have a point… What if her husband betrays her? What if her husband bullies her? What if her husband doesn’t appreciate her? What if her husband… leaves this world? Point is, after so long, it’s clear-cut about how much she’d mean to Scope. Just as one woman’d say… too many girls dream of marriage, but once they realise what marriage is all about… they discover what they really need.

I had missed her once… I don’t want to miss her the second time. It’s really a curse… I yearn to see her again, yet I have to resist the temptation of seeing her forever. It’s something like the honorable version of ‘Desperate Housewives’. She is perfect, it’s remote possibility that anyone would be so stupid to discard her. But Scope knows men all too well. Irene Kang was not bad looking when she was younger, she has been supportive, but so what… Jackass doesn’t love her.

The reality of life.

In the meantime, Scope is still free to roam about… If she is indeed the destined school mate, destiny will find a way to her.
[It’s time I really tell her goodbye… sigh.]

♥♥♥   ♥♥♥

Scope observed… Kate’s root household is about 1 guy 3 sisters and a pair of parents… But my focus was on Kate’s hubby. I seriously wanted to jump off the roof when I saw Kate’s choice… She rejected me many many years ago, left me alone with low moral into a downward spiral… because of him. I felt insulted… totally insulted. I don’t understand what have I done to her that I deserve yet another blow in the face. Does she really hate me so much?

Kate was such a princess… so elegant, so beautiful… and there he was… bla bla bla… and oversized! I am going crazy, Kate! Personality analysis shows a perfect unmatch with the two! I am sooooooo insulted! This is the girl woman whom I have an unchanged feeling for who had rejected me and ignored me because of that guy… … I might as well make some money from not-so-ugly but super rich tai tais by sleeping with them. She hates me… from the time she avoided sitting next to me during our trip to Genting, to her rejection and to this…

Cindy herself is married to a handsome Chok, and Kate… … I start to hate her. It’s an ultimate insult.

All these years… all I get from her is a big insult. 15 years of wasting my time for… her, she who will never choose my arms even if she were to be free again. If that’s the man she prefers… … That’s the sort of man I in my wildest imagination would never want to be; and she chose to give herself away to him as I searched for her all those years.  I don’t know what I did to have made her hate me so much. This is my destined girl… She breaks my heart, ignores me, and… humiliates me. And I must be made to see her again, to suffer from the pain again, to try suppressing the feeling in vain…

LOL~ Scope, you are so stupid.

She’d rather choose to go out with that man, ANY man BUT you!

Even if she were to be free, she’d have her eyes for ANYone BUT you!

And here you are… telling  the world of your feeling for her since ages back.  Check my women… everyone of them qualifies! I barely cool myself down with her new status to now again… feel like a bloody loose balloon.

I remembered the days… the years I was low moral since she rejected me. I had all the dreams of romance and… I had hoped that she’d be my first girlfriend and wife, then we can go to XXX together, then we can work in two departments in the same place… we’d have great dashing kids, and everyday would be a bliss. But that became impossble… I almost didn’t want to take the exams for the degree… I didn’t want to do anything… Then Cat came along, I took exams and got the honors. Then Cat gave me the betrayal…

This is my life and I don’t have another 15 years to gamble. I must have done her something so wrong if not this life, then a previous’… that she have to make such a choice.

I have thought she have chosen someone majestic, someone who matches her air of elegance… someone whom I can totally lose out to happily.

I hate her.

She places me right below such a man… It’s the biggest insult I would not accept. She is… my destined woman…? God! You must be FUCKING crazy~!!! I shalt not accept being placed below such a man, got it!? Kathryn! Why do you have to treat me this way?! People said love is blind… If I were to use a sniper rifle on him, I don’t even need my SCOPE! Is that the guy I have to be jealous with…? I hate her… I seriously hate her. God made me with everything to fit her, and she has always taken me… as trash.

She can’t be my destined woman.

All these years, have she even thought of me? All these years, have she ever thought of seeing me again? All these years, does she know I have been thinking of her? And she chooses to insult this man… to such an extent. If time were to be reversed, I now pray that I have never met her. I am Scope,  not some trash… If I have met someone else, together we’d have built a homeland of our own. Goodbye, Kathryn… Maybe I did owe you big time in a previous life, but I must have repaid everything over the last decade. This is a mistake… destined or not, it must be ended.

I can’t take such a humiliation.

If we must be destined to be together, I’d protest.

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